Frequently Asked Questions

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Q My boyfriend and I were together for 9 months. We had a really good first month and then I made a huge mistake! I went out and never came home. He was babysitting my daughter. BUT that was the beginning and I have changed. I quit drinking (the reason I didn't come home) and I gave up just about every thing! I love him! Well, we have talked about getting married and we both expressed that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together!
Last week out of the blue he says that he could NEVER spend the rest of his life with a girl like me! I was devasted! That was the 28th of December, but I talked him into coming over new years eve and we spent the entire night together. Ending up being "together!" He said before that his feelings haven't changed. Is he scared? Do I try to change his feelings? What do I do? I love him with all my heart! I don't want to lose him. Everyone keeps saying that he will come back. What do I do??? Please HELP!!

A There are still some feelings there, even if they are only sexual feelings. You will never win him back by only having sex with him. I'm surprised that you were devasted. What kind of a women would walk out on her child. Think about it. If HE did that to you, you would dump him too. You would be scared too.
You cannot change HIS feelings, only he can do that. If he has decided that he really doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with a girl like you, then you might want to consider giving up on relationships for the next 6 months to a year and get your act together, like paying attention to the needs of your child.
Always remember, your home is a school. What are you teaching your children?
While you may have changed, he apparently isn't so sure about that. Often when we make mistakes, it takes a long time for the other partner to move past the pain and forgive.

Larry James is available for one-on-one personal relationship coaching by telephone. Click here for details.

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Frequently Asked Questions is intended to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. In no way should any advice or opinions expressed on our site be considered as a substitute for professional counseling and treatment.

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