Sunday, December 12, 2004


Thoughts about "Change!"

Relationships can quickly box us in with its routines, habits and obligations. Think of your mate and your last time together. It was probably frighteningly similar to the last time. The more settled we become with our partner, in our jobs, homes, towns, families and friends, the harder it can become to envision a different life.

More often than not, change can feel more like a fantasy - something that happened in the past or might one day happen again. This is why we get a rush on the first date, with a sexual experience, new job or having a new car. We are reminded that change is possible. It is an affirmation of free will.

As we observe others changing, we also see what is or is not acceptable for ourselves; what we hadn't considered. The "journey" helps fulfill our need for change.

Change is always possible in our relationship because it is only and always a choice. Taking responsibility for our choices leads to a profound sense of freedom and inner peace.

What you resist, persists. The more you hold on to being right about your position, the more you get to grapple with your own inner thoughts about doing what's right vs. doing what's wrong. It's an energy drain.

It is abstract conjecture to assume that the more you hold on, the problem will go away. Problems do not go away unless you divorce yourself from your concerns about being right, begin to seek solutions and decide to change the way you are being in a relationship.

We are strongest when we are letting go of what doesn't work. That's change in action. When we open our mind to behave in a different way, we create the freedom to love. To open our hearts to love is perhaps the greatest gift we can give to ourselves.

When you finally understand that it is "not" unfashionable to negotiate situations rather than standing firm and allowing the past to rule your present, relationships become relationships you can live with.

When you understand that time spent justifying your position that is not working is futile, you can then move forward with a velocity that frees you to address the issues and deploy solutions that are clearly essential to everyone's well-being.

We use reasons to explain away why we don't want to do something different; reasons why we don't want to change. If we know that doing something different might help the situation, not doing something different is called "stupid." The best reason why has never solved the problem.

Often reasons why are understandable, however what is not understandable is why we feel the need to have our lives dominated by reasons why we didn't do something different instead of results. When we make the decision to go for results in our love relationships. . . that's the real moment we make a decision to grow and prosper.

Want a change in the intimacy department? Intimacy demands trust. There can be no trust without conversation; no genuine intimacy without trust. The only way you and your love partner can truly communicate is to tell the truth about how you feel. Truthful communication moves love partners closer together; it creates a condition of unity, love and satisfaction.

Intimacy is the only path to passion. Not sharing intimately negates the opportunity to grow together. Honesty in communication bonds two lovers in a very special way. A lack of open communication closes the door to intimacy, passion, great bedroom antics, joy, peace of mind, understanding and unconditional love.

Dare to reveal yourself. Become transparent, not invisible. . . transparent. Let your lover see through you to the real you. The depth of connection that comes from genuine intimacy is unimaginable and worth it!

Two love partners, standing firm - together - can accomplish anything the two of them desire. The creative movement of mutual commitment and conversation can produce anything. . . anything! The unity of two, in agreement, does the work of angels.

Your comments are always welcome!

thanks so much for ur entry about change! it was really convicting and its so true that we all yearn for the hormonal ecstacy that comes along with something new, especially a new relationship.. keep on writing and inspiring us :)
What you said is so true. There has to be trust in a relationship. It's something you give and you earn by being true, by being honest to your partner. This entry gave me a new perspective about relationships. Thanks.
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