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There are three ways you can select an article to read on this page. Read each individual review of the article, then click on the article title link, or. . .

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UpDated  Larry's Relationship BLOG! - Periodically, (every 4th day) Larry James will post random thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on our WebLog (Blog).

A rose and a heart  Although some of the articles listed below are for both marrieds and singles, for articles for "Singles Only!"  Click here.

  Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain - We all do it. Some of us do it without even thinking about the consequences. It is only and always a mistake. It can undermine the trust of our partner and cause them to see us as negative, disloyal and worse. No one wants to be known as a constant complainer.

  Commitment + Action - For you to achieve what you desire in a love relationship, both love partners must have similar levels of commitment. Each must honor a promise of mutual commitment to the other, a commitment to participate in life fully together.

  What You Permit - You Promote - When you allow free-floating anxiety to permeate your relationship, you're basically giving it your "stamp of approval."

A Few Words About Words - On the way to run a few errands I drove by a bad accident. It was obvious that someone was critically injured. I temporarily forgot I was driving and momentarily closed my eyes to say a quick prayer and ran off the road and hit a tree. When I called my office for help, there was a message on the phone for everyone to hear, which said that my wife wanted a divorce and she would be staying at the Hilton.

One of Our Best Days! - I can always, if I want to, find something in today that wasn't there yesterday that makes today "one of my best days!" Sometimes I really have to look hard and long to find it. When I decide to really pay attention, I can always find something good.

Resolving Conflict - Conflict is inevitable. How we handle it is what makes the difference. When the structure of a love relationship breaks down, while fault may not necessarily be evenly distributed, both partners must ultimately accept equal responsibility. You are in this together.

Looking Out for #1 - Never allow anything to have a higher priority than looking out for number one. You are all you have. Never allow anyone, not even your love partner, to rob you of the single most important personal responsibility of your life. You must take care of you first. Only then will you be ready to face the daily realities of a love relationship.

No Withholds - It may be true that we often seek in others that which we are not willing to give ourselves. This is a correctable mistake. It is not a good reason to be in a relationship. If we are only being with someone for what they can do for us, that is called dependency.

Make Some Plans. . . Together! - One reason people are unsuccessful in setting relationship goals is that sometimes they don't know what they want until they know what they don't want. Not setting goals is a workable method of getting more of what you don't want. It works every time.

Is Your Relationship Stranded at Malfunction Junction? - Having a successful relationship is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights shine up ahead, AND you can make the entire trip that way. When you see a bump in the road or have to take a detour (to avoid a major disagreement), you simply make a mutually beneficial adjustment and keep on going!

Half of Being Smart is Knowing What You're Dumb At! - Here's something to think about. . . I've been wondering what it is that causes someone to treat their friends much better than the one they say they love?

I Was Wrong and I Am Sorry - As a professional relationship coach, over the years I have listened as partners pour out their hearts to me, justifying their position to the detriment of the relationship.

Are You Being Authentic in Your Relationship? - Being authentic is the key to truly happy, healthy relationships. It is not possible to be happy without being true to yourself. Unfortunately many people live their entire lives never discovering their authentic self.

Hey Guys! Don't be Someone Who Grumbles! - If you want to keep your significant other happy and content. . . (read on)

What's to Become of You? - "What's to become of me?" you say? That may be the wrong question. What "more" is to become of me? Ask yourself that question and see what comes up.

The Truth About Relationship Expectations - Having expectations in our culture is expected. We are brought up that way. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled, we bitch, we moan, we become disappointed.

What to Do? What to Do? - Thoughts on the Dilemma of Choice! - Dissatisfied with the direction your life is going; the work you do, the relationship your are in? Wondering what to do? Perhaps it's time to do something different. Here are some thoughts about the dilemma of making the choices to change.

Romantic Jealousy is Scary! - Jealously. . . it feeds on your insecurity, devours your self-confidence, and gobbles up the trust in your relationship. Believe it or not, like other difficult emotional experiences, jealousy can be a trigger for growth, increased self-awareness, and greater understanding of both your partner and your relationship.

UpDated  Kidding Around With Romance - Youthful and playful activities can add spark to your relationship. Being playful in adult relationships is a good thing. It's perfect for a first date and can even help light a fire under long-term couples whose affections have cooled.

Romantic Ideas to Make it Valentine's Day All Year Long! - To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Here are more than 67 tips to help you get started!

A Gift of the Heart - Want to know how to avoid a gift-giving blunder? To help you develop gift-giving savvy, when you give a gift during the holiday season or on any other occasion, make it a gift of the heart.

The Romantic Kiss - A kiss has been described as the height of voluptuousness. It has a lovely, luscious and lusty legacy.

Jazz Up Your Relationship - A few thoughts about how jazz music can teach you an important relationship lesson.

Communicating is Not Optional:  How to Listen So Your Partner Will Talk - A communication gap not only undermines the potential of your relationship; it can, and usually will eventually destroy the relationship. Use an effective process Larry James uses when coaching couples to teach them to listen and talk, but not at the same time.

What Is Love? - Random thoughts and reflections on Love.

The ABC's of Celebrating Love! - You didn't learn this alphabet in school. 26 words that can help breathe life into your relationship and help you Celebrate Love with your partner; words that begin with each letter of the alphabet.

My Partner Cheat? Never! - Twenty-nine red flags that often point a finger to a cheater.

Poems by Larry James - Two poems based upon a real relationship cast in an imaginary setting. See You At the Beach will give you a sense of the beginning and At the Beach. . . Alone Again will cronicle the gentle completion of the relationship.

Release Your Brakes! - This inspirational poem was inspired by James W. Newman's original classic book by the same name.

Reader Favorite  UpDated  Relationship "Slump Busters" - A list of 52 areas in relationships that can become "Hot Spots" unless they are attended to on a consistent basis; areas that will need your undivided attention if you are committed to work "together" to bring your relationship out of a slump or to keep it from going into one. You will want to bookmark this article and read it often. It is "Larry's Rx for Relationships!" Get our most popular article by e-mail instantly!

Reader Favorite  How Do You Work On You? - Often therapists, radio talk show hosts and others who provide relationship advice or coaching will tell you that in order to have a great relationship with your partner, you must first work on you. This article tells you how to begin.

Men Have Feelings Too! - For Men Only - A discourse in support of a safe place to express your feelings. Scary stuff, huh? Plus complete guidelines for creating a "Men's Support Community." (They work for women too).

A Sure Cure for a Hangover - The facts on the abuse of alcohol are sobering. Alcohol consumption affects men and women differently, however some effects are the same in both genders. Plus Larry's hangover "sure cure!"

Networking: A Woman's Contact Sport - Do women network more effectively than men? Read the success stories of Larry's "Top Five" women networkers and about the personal growth you can expect when you set a priority on networking. NOTE: For more on this subject, go to "The Networking Articles MENU."

Reader Favorite  An Affirmation for Letting Go - Positive affirmations work if you are consistent in using them and if you are willing to suspend your disbelief. This affirmation will help you let go of the past and get on with your life!

Put the Toilet Seat DOWN! - For Men Only - It's time for men to be more "considerate" and to pay attention to the little things, like putting the toilet seat down and helping with the household chores. There is a solution to one of the problems. Inventor, Tim Seniuk's amusing solution may surprise you.

Goodbye, Cavett! - Cavett Robert, CSP, CPAE, was the founder of the National Speakers Association. This article was written to honor his memory.

Domestic Violence Sucks! - Physical and emotional abusive behavior is sick! If you are in an abusive relationship, this article is a must-read. Includes helpful info and links for support for abuse victims.  -  Read one women's story about physical abuse and Larry's recommendation for her situation. Click here.

Top 10 Signs of an Abusive Man - Stephany Alexander, Guest Author - Abusive men are often survivors of abuse themselves. Signs of an abusive man can range from emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse. Frequently an emotionally abusive man is also a verbally abusive man or a combination of all abuse types.

UpDated  Rx for the "Holiday Blues" - Here is a healthy prescription of 56 ways to help you overcome the "Holiday Blues."

Reader Favorite  How to Get the Most From Reading a Relationship Book - Follow these tips and watch your relationship prosper.

The 10 "Commitments" of Networking - Networking is about building supportive personal and business relationships; it's consistently meeting new people and making new friends, sharing ideas and having lots of fun in the process! Larry briefly reviews the 10 things you must be committed to if you intend to have networking be an effective business relationships tool.

. . . And if All Else Fails? - REQUIRED READING if you are considering counseling, therapy (or Personal Relationship Coaching by telephone with Larry James). There is no shame in seeking help from someone qualified to give it. Most people resist change until they are backed against the wall; until they feel that there is nothing else they can do. Change takes courage! It means taking responsibility for your relationship and being brave enough to take that first step toward doing something different while you are still afraid.

Be My V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E All Year Long - Valuable words from the letters in the word Valentine that will help you remember to be your best to make it Valentine's Day in your relationship. . . all year long.  

For YOUR Eyes Only - Have you ever sat down, discouraged and out of steam, stuck and with a sense of hopelessness about your relationship? Have you ever felt like you needed to express what you felt? Have you ever taken the opportunity to write some notes to yourself about how you are feeling, even the feelings you feel uncomfortable sharing with anyone? Some call it "journaling." Here are some guidelines to help you begin answering these important questions.

Networkings' Top Ten "Hot Ideas!" - What does networking have to do with relationships? Networking is all about developing great relationships; meeting new people, making new friends, business contacts and finding new prospects. This article presents 10 "Hot Ideas" that will help put your business networking activities on fast forward!

Friends & Lovers - Your love partner should be your best friend and lover. At the heart of love, there is a simple secret: the lover lets the beloved be free. The stronger and more secure they become, the more they are willing to be themselves while encouraging their love partner to do the same. Genuine unconditional love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually seeks to cultivate it. Mostly written in an affirmative voice.

Making Love - Thoughts and reflections on making love. Tastefully expressed. The experience of physical intimacy can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress- relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

15 Hot Ideas for Phenomenal Physical Intimacy! - Need we say more?

Maturity In Relationships - Maturity in a love relationship is everything! First it is the ability to base a decision about a love relationship on the big picture - the long haul. In general, it means being able to pass up the fun for the moment and select the course of action which will pay off later. Maturity is this and a lot more.

Weigh Your Words - You cannot un-ring a bell! It is a wise love partner who is aware of the potential damage loose words can cause. Words spoken in anger inflict wounds that often take a long time to heal. Think first. . . then speak!

Powerful Beyond Measure: What's This About Mid-life Crisis? - Is mid-life crisis a myth? We all have decisive and critical moments from time to time. A crisis or two now and then perhaps, but a crisis that ongoingly occupies an important part of our mid-life? Certainly we have learned by now that crises take our attention off of living life to its fullest. . . moment by moment.

A Prayer of Thanksgiving! - This article focuses on being grateful for ALL our relationships.

Reader Favorite  Forgiveness. . . What's it for? - Forgiveness is often misunderstood. We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of US. This article suggests that you focus on offering forgiveness TO the person who has wronged you as a healthy way of releasing the anger, resentment, etc. This was the topic of Larry James' appearance on ABC TV's "The View with Barbara Walters and her co-hosts.

Same Event! Different Scores! If We're in This Together Why Aren't We On the Same Team? - Men and women see and hear things differently! Perhaps it's all about interpretation! Could it be true that we all experience contrasting realities of the same event? Do we all think we are right? Are we committed to hold on to that opinion? Does this make us happy in our relationships?

Shadows of the Past - Shadows of the past are our out-dated precepts and ideas that serve no one. They are our preconceived notions about how we think things should be, should turn out or how things are. The past is an energy drain. Larry tells you how to let go.

The Secret to Solving ALL Your Problems! - What's the secret? You are the voice! What you say goes. You are in charge here. Think and speak only of what you want. Your past is before you. It is created individually by you today. You alone have the choice to make it one you can live with!

A Strawberry Malt and 3 Squeezes, Please! - This story was originally featured in the New York Times Best Selling book, A 2nd Helping of Chicken Soup for the Soul by Mark Victor Hansen & JackCanfield. It is a heart-warming story of love, written to honor the memory of Larry's mother, Mary N. Jarvis. She died as a result of Alzheimers disease. Also see: Alzheimer's Links.

Principles of Being - Austin Vickers, Guest Author - Allow this affirmative statement to govern your life. Book mark it and read it often. It will change your life.

Some Things Can Be Fixed. . . Others Must Heal - Thom Rutledge, Guest Author - When someone tells you a problem they are having, do you immediately feel the need to offer advice? Is it difficult for you to just listen to someone who is in distress, to just be there for them without knowing precisely what to say or do?

Have You Written a Love Letter Lately? - Michael J. Montegut, Ph.D., Guest Author - One of the most powerful and sincerest forms of communication that we see very little of today is letter writing. I am not talking about e-mail or post-its. I mean a real letter that is written on real paper and possibly mailed through the regular mail.

Articles for Singles

Questions, Questions and More Questions - For Singles Only - Are you asking the right questions? It is estimated that 83% of failed relationships could be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions. Are you among the 17%?

The Dating Daze! - For Singles Only - The grown-up dating game has never been more interesting and challenging. There are more players than ever before. Why? Because of higher divorce rates, longer life spans, and a greater tendency to never marry. This contributes to more single Americans than at any other time in our country's history.

Reader Favorite  UpDated The 3 BIGGEST Mistakes Newly Singles Make and How to Avoid Them - For Singles Only - The BIGGEST mistakes that newly singles can make are mistakes that most singles refuse to believe and, as a result, they soon find themselves experiencing the same relationships as in the past. It is an even bigger mistake to not acknowledge that these colossal blunders really ARE mistakes! Evade these avoidable errors in judgment, and ALL of your relationships will work better!

25 Words or Less: Connecting With Personal Ads - For Singles Only - Read Larry's take on the personal responsibility you must accept when writing or answering personal ads.

Reader Favorite  LoveNote for Singles Only - For Singles Only - Some singles have concerns that life is passing them by. They wonder why you haven't found their true love. They need to learn to trust their heart! It always tells the truth! Larry offers suggestions that can relieve the stress and worry of being alone and being lonely.

Who Would You Have to Become? - For Singles Only - Who would you have to become to have your relationships be great? What could you do differently? Whose assistance could you request? How will you change? Or will you? Are you willing to stop trying to change your love partner? Suggested strategies worthy of pursuit.

New Beginnings! What to Do? - For Singles Only - Alone again? Perhaps it's time to invent a new beginning. You can do that most effectively by working on you; preparing for love. There is no shame in starting over. How do you work on YOU? You begin by paying attention to what you need to be fulfilled as an individual. Focus on YOU! Self inquire!

Putting Your Best Foot Forward OR Should I Be Who I Really Am on the First Date? - For Single Men Only - We must create a future worth living into. The old way of being in a relationship isn't good enough in the '90's. We must invent the kind of relationship we want, then go about devoting our time and energy to making it happen. It will happen when we care enough to give ourselves the very best of everything.

Learning to Love the One You're With - For Singles Only - Spend time working on you. Work on developing your own self as an individual. The one you are with is you! Reinvent a relationship with yourself. Make it a new and exciting relationship; one you can be proud to carry over into your next relationship with someone else.

Links to "Single's Sites!"

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NOTE: All articles listed above are available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. Click here for details.

These articles are adapted from Larry's books. . .

How to Really Love the One You're With:
Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship

LoveNotes for Lovers:
Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers (Career Assurance Press).

Author Larry James is a professional speaker. He presents "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples. More About Larry James

Larry James • CelebrateLove.com • P.O. Box 12695 • Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

480 998-9411 • Fax 480 998-2173

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