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Issue #48
"LoveNotes for Lovers" e-Zine!

Available by e-mail in text only format.

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Celebrate Love!

e-ZINE!

September 2006 - Issue #48
Publisher, Larry James - Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach

You received this issue of "LoveNotes for Lovers" eZINE because you completed the eZINE sign-up at: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/ezine.htm.

If you would rather read this eZINE online, go to: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/ezine48.htm.

In this issue

•  A Personal Message from Larry James
•  LoveNotes for Lovers
•  Featured Relationship Article - The Truth About Relationship Expections
•  Relationship "Book-of-the-Month" - LoveNotes for Lovers
•  Bride & Groom of the Month! - View their photo gallery!
•  Guy Finley's "Key Lesson"
•  Relationship Humor
•  Daily Love Potion - Served from the CelebrateLove.commissary
•  Contact Information - Tell us what you like best about LoveNotes for Lovers

SMALL Larry James Pic A Personal Message from Larry James:

Changing how you feel about your relationship begins with changing how you think!

Someone once said, "change your thinking and you will change your life." I couldn't agree more. However, there is one more thing you must do. That is to also change your behavior. Changing your attitude about the situation is part of changing your behavior. Without changing your behavior and your attitude, changing your thinking won't matter.

Look at your behavior and your attitude to see if they are contributing to the well being of the relationship or detracting from it. Is your attitude about it building obstacles or creating space for a healthy love relationship to thrive? You always have choice.

Remember, relationship problems are shared problems. It is rarely ever only one person's fault. A question you might ask yourself is: "What am I doing that contributes to me seeing this as a problem?" Next, decide to change your thinking about the problem or your partner. Then begin to change your behavior about how you react to whatever you perceive the problem to be.

When what you are doing isn't working, you must decide to do something different - to make a change. And the sooner, the better. Seldom does anything improve from neglect. Stay open to the possibility that doing "something different" might work. It most likely will be something you've never tried before or that won't make sense until you try it. That might be a little scary and you have to take the first step while you are still afraid.

What you think about and speak about, you bring about. Want more of the problem? Keep thinking about it instead of seeking mutually beneficial solutions to it and refuse to change "YOUR" behavior. Rather than looking outside for the source of your problems, look inside for the source of your solutions.

It's not easy. And, you can do it.

When you dwell on the problem, a solution to it will not appear to you. There is usually more than one solution to every problem. Problems do not go away by themselves. People solve problems.

Obviously if you have a partner who is willing to work with you to get your relationship back on track. . . that's ideal. But what do you do when your partner doesn't acknowledge that there is a problem?

You must decide to focus your attention on working on you; getting back in touch with who you are. With a major behavior and attitude adjustment, you will begin to feel better about yourself and stop blaming your partner for the problem.

Often when partners begin to sense a change in you, a change in them follows.

Remember, changing how you feel about your relationship, begins with changing how you think!

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  A healthy love relationship is a safe place where two lovers can be themselves. No more pretending. It's almost as if both spirits merge. It's about experiencing the freedom to be real and about feeling okay about ourselves and the relationship. No more judgments or preconceived notions of how it 'should' be. It's about each giving consent to be loved and appreciated for who they are and loving each other for having the courage to be that way.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .   For Women Only - Men tend to grow at their own speed. Unless your love partner is intentional about personal growth, anything you say to help may only cause him to feel that you think he is broken. Right or wrong, men inherently believe they can handle their own stuff.

This may or may not be true, but being insistent about helping him grow can temporarily shut him out of your life. Quit trying to fix him. Be there for him when he is ready to be cared for, otherwise let him be and quietly attend to yourself.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  Affirmation - I am learning how to overcome my limitations and develop my capacity to love, not because I expect love in return, but simply because my love partner deserves to be loved.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  For Men Only - It is difficult to understand and correctly interpret what someone is feeling when no one is talking. This is often a great challenge for women when suddenly their man shuts down and ceases to communicate. This strategy seldom works for the good of the relationship. Women usually communicate their feelings with words. It is wise for a man to learn that to be understood; silence is not golden.

With communicated agreements about how and when you can express yourself, and an understanding between love partners about listening without contradiction, being vulnerable becomes easier. When love is present in your relationship, it is easier to risk saying what you need to say. Words, carefully chosen, spoken aloud, are the only way for a woman to know what is in your heart. Learning to express yourself aloud is one thing, the feelings behind how you express these words are what counts. Your love partner must feel the love behind the words.

LoveNote for Lovers. . .  All there is, is relationships. Building a successful relationship is a never ending process. Work most on the first reality of your relationship - you. Your own personal growth contributes to the deepening and strengthening of the relationship you have with another. The second reality is your love partner. The relationship they have with themselves is only and always their responsibility. The third reality of a successful relationship is the 'us' of it. The joining of two whole people - complete in themselves - to do the work of a forever relationship is a worthy pursuit; one that is the most challenging and beautiful of all human experiences.

Sample more LoveNotes: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/lovenote.shtml

Sometimes it is nice to have someone to talk with who will listen!

Call Larry James for a very private relationship coaching session and experience lots of "a-ha's!" Call for a daytime or evening coaching appointment - 800-725-9223 (Greater Phoenix area - 480-998-9411). Check out Larry's Personal Guarantee! The fringe benefit? A more loving, peaceful, happy relationship.

Larry gets LoveNotes. . . "I was blaming my partner for my troubles. When you said, 'If you want to know the source of your problem, look into the mirror,' it was then that I relized that it was I who was at the root of the problem. Thank you." D.S.

More info: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/relationshipcoaching.htm

What's on YOUR mind!? We would love to hear what topics YOU would most like to see covered in upcoming issues of the LoveNotes for Lovers eZINE. Send your suggestions to: LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com

Larry's Relationship BLOG! - Periodically, Larry James will post random thoughts, ideas, observations, insights, articles, rants, commentary, suggestions, tips and solutions for better relationships. You are welcome to post your comments on our WebLog (Blog). Pass the word to your friends!

Featured Relationship Article

Read "The Truth About Relationship Expectations" - Having expectations in our culture is expected. We are brought up that way. Having great expectations sounds great however when the expectation is unfulfilled, we bitch, we moan, we become disappointed.

Read the article. Go to: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/expectations.htm

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For a fresh, daily dose of relationship potions
delicately served to you from the CelebrateLove.commissary!
Click here: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/potion.shtml.
Visit this page often and please pass the word to your friends!

LoveNote Link Daily Love Potion LoveNote Link

Featured Relationship "Book-of-the-Month"

Books make grrreat gifts for someone you love!

LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing - Larry James - LoveNotes for Lovers is a collection of thoughts, ideas, affirmations and reflections on love. Open it to any page, and great advice jumps out! You'll refer to it over and over again!

Larry's Review: Great book!  ;-)

LoveNotes for Lovers

Larry's Newest Book can be found at Business Networking HQ:
http://www.TenCommitmentsofNetworking.com

For hundreds of relationship books, videos, audios and music, visit Larry's Book Store.
http://www.CelebrateLove.com/larrysbookstore.htm

CelebrateIntimacy.com is the crème de la crème of intimacy Websites!

http://www.CelebrateIntimacy.com

Guy Finley's "Key Lessons" - The wisdom and wit of Guy Finley. Don't miss this opportunity to brighten your life! At every regular meeting at Guy's Foundation in southern Oregon, there's a special board in front of the class where the Key Lesson for that meeting is written out for everyone to consider before, during, and after the talk. Book mark this page and return every day for a breath of fresh air & something new to think about!

Sample: Just as the petals of a rose need sunlight and fresh air to release their fragrance, so do people who wish to awaken to Real Life require the Light of Truth and what it reveals within them in order to blossom into True human beings.

Pass along Larry's Website especially for authors & speakers, featuring lots of resources, tips, books & articles. Larry has independently published 4 books and offers "author/speaker coaching!"

Go to: http://www.AuthorsandSpeakersNetwork.com

Relationship Humor

Two Norwegians from Wisconsin are sittin' in a boat on Dead Lake, fishing and suckin' down beer, when all of a sudden Sven says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in over six months."

Ole sips his beer and says, "You better think it over. Women like that are hard to find."

Wedding ceremonies with romantic elegance and impeccable attention to detail.

Celebrate Intimate Weddings with professional speaker, author, relationship coach and ordained non-denominational minister Larry James. Larry James will travel to perform your wedding ceremony wherever your budget allows!

CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com provides everything you need for a successful wedding; planning checklists, articles, books, custom wedding ceremonies, pre-marital & post-marital coaching and more.

LoveNote. . . "Thank you so very much for making our wedding day so special and meaningful! All of our family and friends thought you were terrific and totally enjoyed the beautiful ceremony! We've been to many weddings and we truly believe your ceremony tops them all! You can tell that you've had years of experience as a relationship coach and wedding performer. We are so happy that we chose you and are thankful that you were available at such short notice! Thanks to you. . . our day was complete! You're a great guy! Everything was perfect!! We would certainly recommend you again!" - Debbie & Roz Broussard

To view the Broussard Photo Gallery, go to:
http://www.CelebrateIntimateWeddings.com/broussard.html.

FREE Articles for Your Publications & Website

Larry James has written numerous relationship articles available for reprint in magazines, periodicals, newsletters, newspapers, eZINEs, on the Internet or on your own website. You may use articles written by Larry James that are included in this eZINE or visit the "Relationship Articles Menu" on his website for a complete list. Send your request by e-mail and he will send you permission and a brief bio for publication with each article.

Relationship Articles MENU: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/articles.htm

For permission to reprint, click here: http://www.CelebrateLove.com/reprintarticles.htm.

Invite Larry James to Speak to Your Group

Larry is available to present keynotes and seminars for private and corporate functions and churches. He speaks on personal and business relationships. http://www.CelebrateLove.com/anniversary.htm!

Contact Information & Advertising Rates

If you or someone you know would like to advertise in our eZINE, please send your inquiry to:

Larry James
CelebrateLove.com
P.O. Box 12695
Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

480-998-9411

http://www.CelebrateLove.com
Your feedback is always welcome!
LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com

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