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Frequently Asked Questions

All questions are answered by Larry James. When you are finished with this page, follow the links listed after the Q & A to go back to "FAQ Topics" or to read the "next" question and answer.

Q I've been divorced for almost 2 years after a 24 year marriage and just starting to date again. I feel like I'm in the dark ages, as the men I date seem to think sex is expected, and I'm from the old school that it's the "icing on the cake," not the foundation. . . am I being unrealistic, or are the men I'm meeting sophomoric?

I'm not interested in marriage at this time, but also don't want "casual sex." I'm looking for a meaningful relationship. Is that too much to ask for?

A No, it is not to much to ask. You have taken a stand. Good for you. Now. . . stand by it! You must remember that, for a man, it is his nature to want to mate with a woman. That will never change. However, the man you are looking for must be willing to "respect" YOUR wishes and refrain from making advances until you are ready. Casual sex does not a relationship make.

If a man cannot respect your position on sex, then run the other way.

Your top priority in dating should be on having fun, not looking for a relationship. Date lots of men. Have fun. Make this clear in a casual sort of way on your first date or, if you choose, before your first date. Once you give your body to a man, what then is left to give? You should never have to audition for marriage.

I am not so naive that I do not understand that men and women often have sex before marriage. However, because of your stand on this issue, never be afraid to turn down the opportunty for sex, regardless of how much you want it, until you know that "Love" is present in the relationship.

Some men will tell you anything to get you in bed. That is why you must KNOW that love is present before you engage in this very sacred act.

Additional resources: Making Love and buy the book The Cult of the Born Again Virgin by Wendy Keller.

Larry James is available for one-on-one personal relationship coaching by telephone. Click here for details.

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Frequently Asked Questions is intended to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. In no way should any advice or opinions expressed on our site be considered as a substitute for professional counseling and treatment.

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