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Frequently Asked Questions

All questions are answered by Larry James. When you are finished with this page, follow the links listed after the Q & A to go back to "FAQ Topics" or to read the "next" question and answer.

Q I love my husband (to be) a lot and I feel that he loves me too, but sometimes he ignores me. What should I do? How can I keep him close to me. Please help.

A First of all, lets hope that you are not part of the problem. Woman typically need more affection than men. If you constantly insist on "keeping him close to you," this may be the very thing that could eventually drive him away. Often when you smother a man with love (or insist that he be with you "all the time"), he may withdraw. Men (and women, too) need their space. Not giving him the space he needs may be your part of the problem.

I suggest that you take a look to see if you may be overreacting. When our feelings are involved, it is often easier to blame someone else for making us feel a certain way than it is to take full responsbility for feeling the way we do. No one can make you feel the way you feel. Feeling the way you do is a choice you make.

While he may be doing something that you don't agree with, you have a choice to feel the way you choose to feel about it. This is a tough pill to swallow, AND it is true. You always have choice in the matter. Always. Choice is your greatest power.

If you feel you are not over reacting, than another choice is to sit down with him and have a conversation about how you feel when he ignores you. Do it soon. When an issue surfaces in a relationship, the sooner you both discuss it, the better off you both will be. What you cannot talk about keeps you stuck.

Begin the conversation by saying, "When you do (fill in the blank), I feel (then express how you feel)." When you talk to him in this way, your focus is about YOUR feelings, not an attack against him. Notice I did not say "When you do xxxx, it MAKES me feel..." There is a BIG difference.

Effective communication is a requirement of a healthy, wholesome, happy and successful relationship. There is no other way. TRUST is the very foundation of a healthy love relationship! There can be no trust without conversation; no genuine intimacy without trust.

Ponder this thought: If while dating you he ignores you, can you imagine how he will be once you have married this guy? To take your partner for granted is demonstrating a high level of disrespect. Respect is high on the list of needs for women. If you think he will change after marriage you are in for a gigantic surprise!

When dating, most men put their best foot forward. If he is already taking you for granted, I would think twice about making the trip to the alter with this guy.

Remember, it takes no strength to let go. . . only courage! Courage reveals itself in action.

Copyright © - Larry James. Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With."

  If you would like to talk one-on-one with Larry James about relationship issues related to this article, you are invited to arrange for a private coaching session by telephone. Go to Personal Relationship Coaching for specific details.

Larry James is available for one-on-one personal relationship coaching by telephone. Click here for details.

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Frequently Asked Questions is intended to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. In no way should any advice or opinions expressed on our site be considered as a substitute for professional counseling and treatment.

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