First of all, lets hope that you are not part of the problem. Woman typically
need more affection than men. If you constantly insist on "keeping him close to
you," this may be the very thing that could eventually drive him away. Often
when you smother a man with love (or insist that he be with you "all the time"), he
may withdraw. Men (and women, too) need their space. Not giving him the
space he needs may be your part of the problem.
I suggest that you take a look to see if you may be overreacting.
When our feelings are involved, it is often easier to blame someone else for
making us feel a certain way than it is to take full responsbility for feeling
the way we do. No one can make you feel the way you feel. Feeling the way you
do is a choice you make.
While he may be doing something that you don't agree with, you have a choice to
feel the way you choose to feel about it. This is a tough pill to swallow, AND
it is true. You always have choice in the matter. Always. Choice is your
greatest power.
If you feel you are not over reacting, than another choice is to sit down with
him and have a conversation about how you feel when he ignores you. Do it soon.
When an issue surfaces in a relationship, the sooner you both discuss it, the
better off you both will be. What you cannot talk about keeps you stuck.
Begin the conversation by saying, "When you do (fill in the blank), I feel (then
express how you feel)." When you talk to him in this way, your focus is about
YOUR feelings, not an attack against him. Notice I did not say "When you do
xxxx, it MAKES me feel..." There is a BIG difference.
Effective communication is a requirement of a healthy, wholesome, happy and
successful relationship. There is no other way. TRUST is the very foundation of
a healthy love relationship! There can be no trust without conversation; no
genuine intimacy without trust.
Ponder this thought: If while dating you he ignores you, can you imagine how he
will be once you have married this guy? To take your partner for granted is
demonstrating a high level of disrespect. Respect is high on the list of needs
for women. If you think he will change after marriage you are in for a gigantic
surprise!
When dating, most men put their best foot forward. If he is already taking you
for granted, I would think twice about making the trip to the alter with this guy.
Remember, it takes no strength to let go. . . only courage! Courage reveals itself in action.
K - It's Q & A time!!
Larry's BLOG -
