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Tales From the Crypt

•    •    •

Bloodshot Eyes

I'm STILL watchin' you!

Grave Ghost

MORE. . . Halloween Howls! #2

("Er, ah, humor, that is!")

Bat - BOO! Pumpkin Bullet How do you scare a mummy
  • With a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.
Pumpkin Bullet What do you get when you cross a vampire with the Internet?
  • Blood-thirsty hacker baby.
Pumpkin Bullet What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a squash?
  • A squashed pumpkin pie.
Pumpkin Bullet Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
  • It's drafty under that sheet.
Pumpkin Bullet What instrument do skeletons play?
  • Trom-BONE.
Pumpkin Bullet What is a vampires favorite place on the web? Pumpkin Bullet Why didn't the skeleten cross the road?
  • He had no guts.
Pumpkin Bullet Why do vampires scare people?
  • They are bored to death!
Pumpkin Bullet How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
  • Every night he turns into a bat.
Pumpkin Bullet What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
  • It's a pain in the neck.
Pumpkin Bullet How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
  • All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.
Pumpkin Bullet What song does Dracula hate?
  • "You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders."
Pumpkin Bullet How does a girl vampire flirt?
  • She bats her eyes.
Pumpkin Bullet What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
  • A grave problem.
Pumpkin Bullet Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
  • He has a bat temper.
Pumpkin Bullet Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
  • He had a fang-ache.
Pumpkin Bullet Why are vampires like false teeth?
  • They all come out at night.
Pumpkin Bullet Who does Dracula get letters from?
  • His fang club.
Pumpkin Bullet Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
  • To stop his coffin.
Pumpkin Bullet Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
  • Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
Pumpkin Bullet How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
  • Give him screws.
Pumpkin Bullet What can't you give the headless horseman?
  • A headache.
Pumpkin Bullet Why did the headless horseman go into business?
  • He wanted to get ahead in life.
Pumpkin Bullet What is a ghosts favorite sale?
  • A white sale.
Pumpkin Bullet What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
  • A BOO-tie.
Pumpkin Bullet What's a ghosts favorite desert?
  • BOO-berry pie with "I Scream!"
Pumpkin Bullet Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
  • So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
Pumpkin Bullet When does a ghost have breakfast?
  • In the moaning.
Pumpkin Bullet What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
  • Coffee with scream and sugar.
Pumpkin Bullet Where does a ghost go on vacation?
  • MaliBOO, California.
Pumpkin Bullet What do they teach in witching school?
  • SPELLing.
Pumpkin Bullet Why does a witch ride a broom?
  • Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.
Pumpkin Bullet What do you call a witch's garage?
  • A broom closet.
Pumpkin Bullet What do you call two witches living together?
  • Broommates.
Pumpkin Bullet Why don't mummies take vacations?
  • They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.
Pumpkin Bullet Where do ghosts mail their letters?
  • At the ghost office.
Pumpkin Bullet Why did the ghost cross the road?
  • To get to "THE OTHER SIDE".
Pumpkin Bullet How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
  • With a pumpkin patch.
Pumpkin Bullet What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
  • Hoblin Goblin.
Pumpkin Bullet When does a skeleton laugh?
  • When something tickles his funny bone.
Pumpkin Bullet What is a goblin's favorite meal?
  • BOORito Image compliments of http://www.Chipotle.com

Fun with food for Halloween!
Fun With food for Halloween! - Serve "Mummy" Dogs!

Pumpkin Bullet Humble Pumpkin Carvings - Let's talk pumpkins. Remember that crooked-grinned jack-o-lantern you carved last year? It was cute in its own humble way, really. And I'm sure its eerie yellow glow scared a few little trick-or-treaters.

You'll have to step up your game if you want to astound and terrify! You're going to have to visit http://www.PumpkinGutter.com

Start by browsing his gallery. There are plenty of creepy pumpkin carvings. You'll see just how primitive your pumpkin carving has been. Check the tutorial, too. It will give you some great pointers for your pumpkin carvings.

Pumpkin Bullet www.FreeHalloween.com - Gobs of Halloween games!

Pumpkin Bullet www.AllHallowsEve.com - Create your own Jack O'Lantern

Pumpkin Bullet All Things Halloween! - 13 Inspirational Pinterest Boards for All Things Halloween.

Pumpkin Bullet Make Your Own Halloween Makeup - These recipes are simple and made from ingredients found in most pantries -- food coloring, corn syrup and coremeal. Anyone for fake scabs, hairy warts or dripping blood will love this site.

Pumpkin Bullet The History of Halloween - This site tracks Halloween's 2000 year evolution from ancient Celtic festival honoring the dead to modern American tradition honoring candy. You will also find ghoulish music, true ghost stories, trick-or-treat safety and more.

Pumpkin Bullet Halloween Net - Everything you need for a macabre Halloween bash is listed here; ghost stories posted by readers, ideas for creating your own haunted house, safety tips and more.

Pumpkin Bullet Virtual Haunted House -
Recommended for Children! - Plenty of fun and spookiness for younger children. This site is a part of MidLink Magazine, "the digital magazine for kids," created by kids aged 8 to 18.

Pumpkin Bullet HalloweenKids.com -
Recommended for Children! - Ghostcards, coloring, games, pumpkin decorating, costume ideas, safety tips and party tips for kids.

Pumpkin Bullet Trick-or-Treat SAFETY Guidelines -
Recommended for Children! - Parents, point your children to this list of Halloween safety guidelines for a safer Halloween. PLUS. . . Safety tips for your spooky little pets!

Pumpkin Bullet Scary.com -
Recommended for Children! - Click on the "Scary-Tale Patch" for kid-friendly tales. (This page requires the flash plug-in.)

Pumpkin Bullet The Castle of Spirits - This is the page where spirits haunt, ghosts wander freely and many many spooky stories are to be told. Over 900 true ghost stories available to read.

Pumpkin Bullet 123Greetings.com - Send a friend a "Spooky" greeting card! It's FREE!

Pumpkin Bullet Halloween Frivolous Factoid - About 99% of pumpkins marketed domestically are used as jack-o-lanterns at Halloween.

Pumpkin Bullet Peter Underwood Offical Website - Peter Underwood is regarded as: "the undisputed king of ghosthunters" - "the world's leading paranormal investigator" - "the most celebrated British ghosthunter" - "the famed maestro of the occult" etc.

Pumpkin Bullet The Moonlit Road - Ghost stories and strange folktales of the American South, told by the region's most celebrated storytellers.

Pumpkin Bullet Halloween-Online.com - Adults who visit this atmospheric site can find out how to get in on the fright-night fun! Dos and don'ts of pumpkin carving, directions for turning your lawn into a graveyard, and lots more.

Pumpkin Bullet HauntWorld.com - More than 300 haunted amusement houses and hotels in North America and Europe that cater to fright-seeking families.

Pumpkin Bullet Crappy Halloween Treats - Requires Flash.

Pumpkin Bullet Halloween Hangman - Happy haunting! Requires Flash.

  • Special Note for Parents - The American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry says parents can relax. Halloween comes only once a year, and children can enjoy their holiday treats without harm to their teeth if the snacking is done sensibly. Candy is no more likely to cause cavities than most other foods.

    The Important thing, say pediatric dentists, is how frequently a child eats. Every time food is eaten, acid is produced by bacteria living in the mouth. The acid typically remains in the mouth for 20 minutes after eating either a snack or a full meal. Children who snack frequently suffer multiple acid attacts, and that can lead to tooth decay.

    Don't make your children feel guilty about enjoying their halloween candy. Instead, use the occasion as an opportunity to model portion control. Sort the kids' take into single-portion, snack-size plastic bags. Make candy a guilt-free finish to a healthy meal, and set a good example by handing out treats such as granola bars, raisins and bit-size candy bars to the neighborhood kids.

    Smart parents insist that their children brush their teeth after every meal and especially after eating candy!

Click here for the "Books for Treats" Project
Click here for our "Spooky Book Store!"

Ghost    BOO!!   Ghost

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To contact Larry James. . .

Larry James
P.O. Box 12695
Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

480 998-9411
Fax 480 998-2173

Send e-mail to Larry James

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