LoveNote Link
Daily Love Potion
Celebrate Love!

Follow Larry James' Relationship Twitter

Larry's Relationship BLOG!

Larry's Wedding BLOG!

Home

Site Map

About Larry James

BookShelf

Larry's Book Store

Relationship Articles MENU

Personal Relationship Coaching

Frequently Asked Questions

Media Press Pass - (For Radio, TV, Magazine, Internet & eZINE Producers & Editors)

Facebook Logo
Twitter Logo
Follow Me on Pinterest

Seminars & Keynotes:

Topics

Relationship Enrichment
LoveShop


Making Relationships Work:
Personally and Professionally


The 10 "Commitments"
of Networking


Networking: Making the
Right Connections



QuickLinks to Larry's
Books:


How to Really Love the
One You're With


LoveNotes for Lovers

Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers


SPECIAL Books for Business

Ten Commitments of Networking

The First Book of LifeSkills


References:

Business Leaders Speak About
Larry James


Church Leaders Speak About
Larry James



Relationship Speakers Network:  Representing:

Dr. John Gray, Ph.D.

Michael Najarian, M.A.


MORE Good Stuff:

Larry James & Barbara Walters

Larry James' Family Fotos

SPECIAL Relationship Pin Offer!

Links to More Relationship Sites

Larry's eMall - Secure eShopping
With Your Mouse!


Special LINKS for:

Authors & Speakers


Search CelebrateLove.com
Google
Use the Google Search Engine to find whatever you want on 750+ pages on CelebrateLove.com!

Click here!

Something NEW:

Celebrate Intimate Weddings LOGO

Larry's Wedding BLOG - Something new about weddings every 4th day!


I Was Wrong and I Am Sorry

Larry James

As a professional relationship coach, over the years I have listened as partners pour out their hearts to me, justifying their position to the detriment of the relationship.

There are as many relationship issues as there are people, however if I were going to make a list of the most frequent issues I would say that money, in-laws, sex, control issues, unfulfilled expectations and a lack of effective communication top the list.

It is one thing to know there is a problem and it is quite another to not do anything about it. You must first acknowledge that a problem exists before it can be fixed. Part of the healing is to acknowledge that there are indeed problems that you may be responsible for. Knowing that is not enough. DOING something different is!

Relationship derailment is a troubling phenomenon. However, it's time for the death of finger pointing. Blame in a love relationship doesn't work!

There is a payoff for everything you do. The payoff for pointing a finger at your partner and blaming him or her for your relationship condition is: you don't have to take responsibility for your share of the problem.

Although blaming has no redeeming value, if you must place blame, you would be wise to accept responsibility and know that the blame goes to the person looking back at you in the mirror.

Relationship problems are shared problems. To manage the complexity of a stormy relationship you must accept responsibility for your share of the problem. When you can do that, the problem is half solved. Not only will this change you, it will change your relationship with your partner.

It is time to STOP blaming someone else for the misery you are creating for yourself. It's time to forgive yourself and your partner so the hurt will heal. The hurts won't heal until you allow yourself to forgive.

Perhaps your relationship deserves a powerful new focus. The responsibility of both partners is to acknowledge that there is a problem, talk about it in the most loving way you can and reach a conclusion with a workable solution that will benefit both of you.

Ideally, having a partner who understands the concept of team and the responsibility that goes with it contributes greatly to creating a greater attitude of team, which sheds light on solutions instead of keeping the focus on the problem.

True love allows for disagreements. Problems are not there to break you. They help make you a better partner; they help you grow. Acknowledging when you are wrong is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength.

If your relationship is off track, the cost of complacency is obviously substantial. Waiting for your partner to "come around," may prove futile. Go first. You must take the first step while you are still afraid. Doing so helps to inoculate your relationship against a relapse.

Your relationship priorities are clear now, right? Go first. Say it.

"I was wrong and I am sorry."

It probably doesn't need to be said, however I will say it anyway. Saying "I'm sorry" over and over for the same mistake doesn't work! Not making the same mistake again does. It demonstrates your sincerity and respect for your partner and makes a significant contribution to your relationship.

Do what's right!

Those seven words will help make your perceptions clearer, your judgments sounder, your relationship and your life work better and you will be closer to your heart's desire; a healthy love relationship and marriage.

Do you want to be happy or do you want to be right?

Copyright © - Larry James - Adapted from the book, "How to Really Love the One You're With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship" by Larry James

•    •    •

backSite Map Relationship Articlesnext

Larry James • CelebrateLove.com • P.O. Box 12695 • Scottsdale, AZ 85267-2695

480 998-9411 • Fax 480 998-2173

Send e-mail to Larry James e-mail:
Back to Top

Purple Line

Please Visit Our Sponsors:

Hot stuff here! - Wedding stuff here! - Author & Speaker stuff here!

Ten Commitments of Networking: Creative Ways to Maximize Your Personal Connections here!

AudioGenerator stuff here! - Discount Dental Plan here!

More Hot stuff here! - Links! - Relationship BLOG - Wedding BLOG - Larry's MySpace - Larry's Facebook

Follow Larry's Relationship Twitter at: Larry's Twitter

Larry's: Networking BLOG


•    •    •


Purple Line

Copyright © - Larry James & CelebrateLove.com
Established 1987  -  Online 3/1996
Privacy Statement