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We Get Letters. . .October 25, 1996 Dear Larry, I've never written to an author before even though I'm an avid reader; a pleasure I've enjoyed all my life. I'm 53 years old and my husband and I have each only been married once. Our marriage has lasted 33 years. So, on our marriage road there have been pebbles, rocks and chuck holes along the way. Recently we encountered a boulder! Every morning my husband listens to the radio as he shaves. Six days a week it is one particular station that he listens to, but on Sunday there is no particular station. Just a chance on the dial! On the Sunday after we met up with the boulder, he happened to turn to a Kansas City station, KBEQ, 104.3 FM. A woman was conducting an interview with you about your books and relationships. Indeed a Power greater than ourselves was at work that morning! We bought "How to Really Love the One You're With" and "LoveNotes for Lovers." I have read them and my husband is now reading them. To say your books have made a difference in my life is an understatement! To use the old cliche, your books have literally changed my life! As I read them, especially "How to," I was reminded of a cartoon character with a light bulb above the head - going on! I had lots of glowing light bulbs above my head! I saw myself on virtually every page! My unhappiness and dissatisfaction was caused by me, not others! At 53, I had recently given lots of thought to - "Is this all there is? Is this what the rest of my life will be like?" I am still (name), but I'm a different person! I'm getting rid of some "brain luggage" that I don't need, some "shoulds" and "oughts" that have been there for years. I'm moving on! I have a new phrase that helps guide my life now - "What difference does it make?" If an event occurs and it does make a difference, I stop and pause and think. If the event doesn't make a difference, I move on and put it behind me. I'm learning not to dwell. Life is a joy! I'm happier than I've ever been! The relationship with my husband reminds me of when we were newlyweds! He seems happier than I have ever seen him! Life is so good. I thank God every day for the miracle that happened that Sunday; for hearing the interview and learning about your books. Thanks for writing them. Sincerely, P.S. The boulder that I saw in the road, we demolished! I'm glad that I am finally learning at 53, to love myself! Again, thanks! UPDATE - February 15, 2000 - My husband and I are fine. Not even a grain of sand in the road of life of our marriage. Don't know if I wrote you that I bought several copies of your books and gave them to our grown children and to several of my women friends. In fact one of your books (How to Really Love the One You're With) is still on the bedside table shelf. Wish a copy was required with every marriage license! Sincerely, Another reader wrote. . . This book taught me that a true trusting relationship takes maturity and hard work. It means that you need to live in the present and not look back. I learned that while I have known many of these things, I must practice them to truly experience a healthy relationship. - Tina If you have a relationship success story, send it to Larry James at the address or e-mail below. All names will be withheld unless you grant permission to use a first name only.
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