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Frequently Asked Questions
All questions are answered by Larry James. When
you are finished with this page, follow the links listed after the Q & A to go back to "FAQ Topics" or to read
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My wife and I have been married 14 yrs. w/ 2 kids. Our relationship has not been great for some time.
We don't argue, we just go along pleasantly day-by-day. However there really is no intimacy or connection.
My wife tried for some time to get me "engaged" in the relationship. Now I'm the one who's changed and
trying hard to make the relationship better and she's pulled back. I've read that this is quite normal.
We are going on one month like this, and while I know she's surprised by my "epiphany," she is still
sitting on the fence. I am extremely happy w/ the person I'm evolving into; it's taken a lot of soul
searching and introspection. If my wife refuses to engage in a meaningful relationship, I know there is
someone out there who will. But I want my wife back. She can't seem to move past the resentment she feels
towards me. Mind you there was never any violence, just emotional neglect or indifference. Your comments
would be greatly appreciated.
First of all, if you "really" want your wife back, you must reject the assumption that there may be someone
else out there, then stop trying so hard to get her back.
The situation you are in is typical when a wife, who for so
long wanted the relationship to work, may have finally given up and quit trying because she grew tired of waiting for
you to change. My suggestion is to sit down with her and let her know how very much you want the relationship to
work and what new promises you are willing to make and "keep" to do your part. Actions speak louder than words.
Let her see you doing what you said you would do.
One cannot work on the relationship alone. It takes two. If
she refuses to work on the relationship with you, you will know that you waited much too long to begin to
do your "soul searching and introspection." You know the relationship is over when one partner REFUSES to
work on the relationship. If you have children living at home, I suggest you stay in the relationship and
live up to the commitment that comes with having children. They need their father AND their mother.
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Frequently Asked Questions is intended to provide accurate and authoritative information
in regard to the subject matter covered. In no way should any advice or opinions expressed on our site be considered as a
substitute for professional counseling and treatment.